Memory Mondays: The Last Emperor - Secret Wars Part 1 (Video)
I had to pull this track out of the archives and give shine to one of my favorite lyricists of all-time, The Last Emperor. This track is the epitome of creativity and originality. Mr. Gray presents a fictional tale in which hip-hop battle comic characters. It is so dope that I had to add the lyrics...check out the track and reminisce with me.
--Dig this and dig it deep--
What if I had the, power to gather, all of my favorite emcees
With the illest comic book characters, and they became arch enemies?
Inconceivable? Unbelievable? Yet as wild as it seems
The Emperor and Stan Lee would coach the two opposing teams
Keep it clean, no bats, no gats, guns, no interference
Comic book characters would go head up with raw lyrics
Now I take, whoever might be on break from doin tours
And have them signed up for the Last Emperor's Secret Wars
Sure, for that kind of capacity, you need a crazy large arena
that might stretch from west Philadelphia to east Medina
If I'm able, I'd put it on pay-per-view through my label
And give free tickets to my neighborhood bums with no cable
Yeah, that sounds phat, now that we've squared away the propositions
Let's begin with the ultimate toughman competition
"Let the games begin!" Set it off, it's the fight of the century
KRS and Professor X would battle each other mentally
With rhymes, these two team captains waste no time
Charles Xavier tried to invade Kris Parker's mind
He shot a cerebral probe at Kris's mind, but he missed it
Professor X taken out by the Blastmaster's metaphysics
Round two, new fight, word to life, you gotta see this
Locked in mortal combat is Dr. Strange and The Genius
Here son, he's no match, let that grafted wizard have it
'My Liquid Sword slashes straight through Dr. Strange's Magic'
Another hero down, and now the score is two to zero
By words from the Genius, and he's still my rhymin hero
Now the next fight was conducted in a rough like manner
Specifically between Reggie Noble and Dr. David Banner
Or should I say the Incredible Hulk when he's amped off the gamma?
But Reggie Noble soon became the Incredible Redman and slammed him
You know how Redman gets when his adrenaline starts pumpin
Started schitzin' in the ring, so then the Thing tired jump in
Ben Grimm leaps into the ring, and after Redman he lunges
'But Reggie Noble dropped him with two Brick City punches!'
Rhymes by the bunches, bums get dirtier than Middle Eastern dungeons
Ready to set this like Detective Columbo and his hunches
While the ref's clean out the ring, cause the last fight was so intense
Let's do a live interview with the brother named Common Sense
'Yeah, yeah it's Common Sense, and Iceman tried to freeze me,
So I took him to Chicago and told him to take it easy
He couldn't see me with my applejack hat and hightops
Colussus and Cyclops, I got No I.D. and Y Not'
Good lookin Common Sense, that last album was tight
Let me get back to the ring and evaluate the next fight
Now the next fight had to be the craziest of all times
We got Dr. Octapus 'versus the mighty Busta Rhymes!'
Doc Oct versus Busta? Man that stuff is dead
He'll get his eight arms ripped off, goin up against the dreads
'Ha, ha! Now Dr. Octapus, who you think you grabbin?
The god can never lose, so you know it will never happen
Lyrically making you sleepy, you'll need a nap when
I slap you with my dreads, lights out, you'll kiss the canvas'
Before my eyes, I see the demise of another superhero
Next up is Ras Kass versus Magneto
Now anything goes when Magneto battles foes
Ras Kass had him shivering, delivering ultra magnetic blows
Magneto was now deceased, and a wise man said it best
"The sun rises in the east, but they can still set it the west"
Now with all these heroes down, Stan Lee refuses to surrender
He got Storm from the X-Men, as if I couldn't match the gender
Stan Lee shouts 'Excelsior!' Yo, Stan you best to chill
'There's no match for Storm,' I guess he's never heard of Lauryn Hill
Now we all kow Storm controls the temperature and weather
Started runnin' off at the lip, and L-Boog was like 'Whatever'
See she just got home fom tours, she's a bit to tired to spar
So she clocked Storm over the head with my man Wyclef's guitar
All silence is ceased, out of nowhere comes the Beast
Versus Jeru the Damaja, the Black Prophet from the east
Releasing rhymes that will pound you into the ground, there'll be no
Another victory for hip-hop from the Dirty Rotten Scoundrel
Now the underground sewer system that lies deep below the ring
Is where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Das EFX do their thing
Leonardo and Donatello, they both know we can do this
'So kiggedty crazy Drayze hit them both with raw sewage'
Now Rafeal and Michaelangelo, those two others who are brothers
Brooks smacked 'em with the Das EFX logo, the manhole cover
Whether you're plant or animal, vegetable or miggety-mineral
Before you step to Das EFX you best be hard like a criminal
Taking you back to ringside, just when you thought it was over
The last battle was brought forth by G.I.Joe and Cobra
Mercenaries and soldiers, G.I. Joe was rollin' thick
But I'll get the military of hip-hop, a.k.a. The Boot Camp Click
World War Three for '98 in the wake of all these troops
I could see general Buckshot goin toe to toe with Duke
Salute the captain, for rappin, cause now we know who's hard,
Catchin wreck like Steele and Tek going up against the Crimson Gaurd
Charging after you, smashin' you metaphorically smashin' through
The entire Joe team is O.G.C. and Ruck the Irrational
Then all of a sudden I hear this real loud crack!
'The military punisher Big Rock just broke Roadblock's back!'
Adding insult to injury to Stan Lee and his team
We've got Weapon X from Canada, a.k.a. Wolverine
You know the routine, his claws can rip rappers for days
But here comes the Method Man, a.k.a. Johnny Blaze!
Wolverine you can't hang, when Tical does his thang
Paralyze you with the venom from the Method Man's fang!
This is the final battle as the stratosphere gets darker
We got Nasir Jones versus Peter Parker
Nasty Nas at halftime, headringer versus the webslinger
Illmatic versus radioactive in the rotten apple where the dead linger
He cursed the day that spider ever bit him
And gave him a copy of the second LP, It Was Written
For all up and coming emcees, I've got a question,
If I made a Secret Wars Part Two, would your name even be mentioned?
Would you make the final cut?
I make even the nicest give their titles up
Writing rhymes slash fighting crimes like the Blue Falcon and Dynomutt
Stick around for the next battle slash adventure,
And if you see Stan Lee, tell him that the Last Emperor sent ya *echoes*