Introspection (follow along)

2009 was a year where I pondered heavily about retiring and giving up something that has always been similar to therapy. This year I have a new focus and I decided to write about it. These lyrics were going to be used for a song but the instrumental did not work so I present the lyrics to you as a gift haha.

At times my christian views get misconstrued
They say I'm arrogant but nowadays I pick and choose
I never claimed to be the image of perfection
Since my adolescence
I always tried to spit the truth//
I'm not blinged out, don't have a cross that hangs
I won't lie, I'm envious of Rick Ross's fame
The way that I was reared, weird, alittle feared
Growing a long beard since Randy Moss can//
But with the same token, I let the pain soak in
Reflect on my mother's death and try to stay focused
Rappers are carbon copies from the same cloth
I'm trying to stand out, they sip the same potion//
The name is Praverb, how did I get my name?
From endless nights reading the book of wisdom, it came
To my mind, the idea was so clear
So I attacked the sheets with no trace of fear// 16
I wasn't heard in the pews, I wasn't heard in the streets
So I decided to record Disturbin' the Priest
God given ability, spitting lyrically
Ac-a-pella style or murdering beats//
Battling was my forte, I grew spiritually
Observe the world around me, grew physically
Reading is fundamental, I've grown mentally
Now I stand on my own two, I hope you feeling me//
In 09, I did a lot of reflecting
a lot of school work, led to a lot of stressing
I did a lot of myspace, twitter, no facebook
But I was wasting time by not progressing//
My progression stalled, the energy was drained
Tried to write rhymes but it didn't seem the same
I lost my passion, how could it be so strange?
When years ago, I was free, the sinner was contained// 32
I blamed God for the gift, I don't want it
Genetically blessed with talent, I won't flaunt it
The Holy Ghost inhabits me, it would be a travesty
If I expressed the sentiment of being haunted//
Three things fueled me
...The inspiration from my family and friends, God, and some movies
Countless beats from Teddy Roxpin
He was waiting for the product
But I...produced nothing//
Broken promises, just a heap of lies
Should I do the world a favor, keep the speech inside?
Guess not, I should go ahead and speak my mind
I haven't reached my apex, pinnacle, or peak//
I haven't heard an instrumental that makes me cease
This rapping, on microphones I try to release
The inner beast, my emotions, gotta run deep
This gift of gab has me staying up late hours// 48
Sacrificing sleep, my eggs in one basket
Speak positive in a place where guns blasted
My heart in these rhymes, my soul within these sheets
I'm glad that I'm alive and that my lungs lasted//
This is introspection, the soul of a man
Look deep into my eyes and behold the master plan
Poetical steez, since a fetus I was genius
Individual failure, I valued what a team is//
A wizard on the mic, I'm trying to pack arenas
With more firepower in my locker than Arenas
With more firepower than SWAT
This is lyrical murder more like the living definition of hot//
The human torch or the definition of heat
Hip hop for life I will profess it in sleep
I'm an educator blessed with lessons to teach
And its potential that I'm destined to reach// 64

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